Parenting Tips - A Biblical Perspective

How Deep Are Your Roots?

2009-08-10T23:43:00.002-05:00

Then he told them many things in parables, saying: "A farmer went out to sow his seed…. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.

Over the weekend, I did something remarkable. I cleaned out my flowerbeds. This is remarkable because I don’t care much for yard work because I am absolutely terrified of earthworms. I loathe them. (Not love them, loathe them.) But since I couldn’t get anyone else to pull the weeds out of the flowerbeds, I had to be brave and do it myself. One particular type of weed really caught my attention. The weed had to be about three feet tall and had leaves nearly as large as the ones on my trees. As I was trimming the hedges, I thought I might as well whack down the tall weeds rather than pull them up. You see, I assumed that because the weeds were gigantic in size, they had to have really deep roots that just had to have at least one earthworm attached to them. So, I was actually afraid to pull them up.

But after I had whacked them all down with the hedge clipper, I thought I would go ahead and take a chance on pulling one up. I’m no gardener, but it is my assumption that if I left the chopped off weed in the flowerbed with the root firmly planted in the ground, the weed would eventually grow back, bigger and stronger. So I yanked it up. And, to my surprise, the weed was plucked up with ease. It barely had roots! Weeds that were only two inches tall had deeper roots and were harder to pull out of the ground!

Of course, this got me thinking about spiritual matters, and how we sometimes seem to think that bigger means better. The person with the bigger house is more blessed. The church that tripled in size in three months must be doing something right. Someone who can quote a lot of scripture must be spiritual. But we all know that bigger is not always better. Cancer cells grow, and so do wild fires, but we all know that neither of these are good things.

Jesus told a parable of a man who went out to plant seed. Some of the seed fell on shallow soil, so when the plant grew, it had no root. The plant was easily scorched by the sun’s heat, just like that tall weed was easily plucked up out of my flowerbed because it had no root. After the root experience, I had to examine myself and ask, “How deep are my roots?” When I’m stuck in a long checkout line, “How deep are my roots?” When I’m forced to fill out a stack of paperwork because someone misplaced the paperwork I had already turned in, “How deep are my roots?” When someone says something that offends me, “How deep are my roots?” Will I remember the words of James 1:19, “be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry”? Or will my shallow root system allow the word, that should have been engrafted in me, to be easily plucked up?

I think we could all learn a lesson from the gigantic weed that had no root. Let us not become puffed up because we have a nice church to attend, live in a nice neighborhood, in a nice house, and drive a fine car. None of these things makes us spiritual, even reading our bibles every day doesn’t make us spiritual. But putting the word into practice and disciplining ourselves to stand firm when we face various trials will give us strong roots. And when the enemy comes to pluck us up, he will have to put up a fight and will eventually leave us alone and find someone easier to pick on. And, if you look in my flowerbed, you will still see a lot of those two-inch weeds there because they were just too hard to pull up. Their roots were too deep.

Listen Carefully

2009-06-15T23:35:00.001-05:00

James 1:21-25
…humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word… Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and… goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does.

"Yes, Ma'am," a kid says with a nod as Mom gives instructions or chastisements.

"Do you understand?" comes Mom's plea again.

"Yes, Ma'am," the child nods again. "I understand."

But while the "understand" is still on the tip of his tongue, the child jumps to another subject. I know I'm not the only parent who has had this experience of carefully explaining something to a child only to feel like the information literally went into one ear and passed quickly through the other.

This is the kind of listening James is speaking of in James 1:21-25. James is speaking to those of us who read the word, hear a sermon, read the best book ever written, or attend a life-changing conference, then turn around and do absolutely nothing about it. We merely listened to the word, and so deceived ourselves.

But James said blessed is the person who does not forget what he has heard, but goes on to do it. James follows this blessing with one of the most difficult precepts in the Bible:

"If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless." James 1:26

If we can't keep a tight rein on our tongues, our religion is worthless. Why? Many of the Proverbs give us the answer. We are considered fools when we can't control our tongues. With our tongues, we can destroy our homes and we can cause others to fall. And James had already told us in verse 19 to be slow to speak, or don’t be so quick to give an answer. This is especially true in the home.

Most of us tend to think before we speak when we are dealing with people outside our home, such as co-workers. But what about our children? Have you ever noticed how easily you can yell at your own child but show patience with someone else's? Being quick to listen and slow to speak would be a good precept to put into practice in our own homes, at least I know it is for me.

Let us not be the kind of people who merely listen to the word but do not put it into practice. Let us meditate on the word day and night so that we will be both doers as well as hearers.

Motor Mouth

2009-06-08T22:53:00.000-05:00

Proverbs 18:2
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.

I was a very shy kid who rarely talked. But since my grandfather was blind, I would talk to him non-stop because I knew he couldn't see my face. One day he said to me, "Little girl, you never shut up. I'm going to call you Motor Mouth." I must admit that it kind of hurt my feelings to be referred to as Motor Mouth.

Have you ever just felt like a fool after having completely dominated a conversation? You know what I mean. You are in a conversation, and for every one word the other person speaks, you speak ten. You didn't realize it at the time, but you made the conversation all about you. It actually should have been called an interview. The other person opens with a prompt, and you finish with a speech.

I must admit that I have done this before, on more than one occasion, and have felt like a complete fool. (Not a partial one, but a complete fool.) I have also been on the other side of the microphone as the interviewer, where I gave the prompts and had to sit and listen to the other person talk on and on and on and…. After a few conversations with a conversation-dominator, I usually decide that this person really is no fun to talk to at all. Maybe it's the converstaion-dominator in me that makes me feel this way.

Proverbs 18:2 tells us that the fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions. A fool doesn't want to hear anyone else talk but himself. James 1:19 tells us that everyone should be quick to listen and slow to speak. How much more pleasant our conversations would be if we could balance them out, if we would learn to love to listen as much as we love to speak.

This is true even with our children. Let us be patient with them in conversation and not always feel the need to dominate. Let them tell us about their day without interrupting and teach them to do the same with us. Let them tell us about their problems without always offering our unsolicited advice. Give them a chance to explain themselves when they're in trouble. Let them tell us what they want to be when they grow up without suggesting what we want them to be. Let us just lend a listening ear as well as teach them to do the same.

Living the Good Life

2009-06-02T21:53:00.001-05:00

James 3:13
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. What does James call a good life? Deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. Not deeds done in pride, or out of spite, obligation, or selfish ambition, but deeds done in humility. I read a quote that said, "Duty makes us do things well, but love makes us do them beautifully." These are the kind of deeds James is talking about, deeds done out of love, deeds done beautifully.

John chapter 13 tells us how Jesus showed his disciples "the full extent of his love" by washing their feet, which was definitely a deed done in humility. Jesus did this humble deed knowing that very soon, Judas would betray him, Peter would deny him, the others would desert him, and Thomas would doubt him. Yet, because of his humility, which is described in Philippians 2:6-8, he performed a selfless deed toward those who would soon show their selfishness.

James goes on to tell us that envy and selfish ambition do not come from heaven, but is earthly, unspiritual, and of the devil. Verse 16 says, "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice." James describes heavenly wisdom as "pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere." So the good life that James speaks of is not a life of selfish ambition in an attempt to lay up treasure for ourselves here on earth. Living the good life is living a giving life, doing good deeds in humility.

"Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness." - James 3:18

You’re a Piece of Work!

2009-05-25T15:34:00.002-05:00

Ephesians 2:10
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

"You're a piece of work!" We've all probably heard that phrase before. I heard it a few years ago, as a matter of fact, by a well-meaning friend who was not happy with something I had done. Undoubtedly, I was left with hurt feelings simply because being called a piece of work is not usually considered a compliment. But, as I reflected on Ephesians 2:10, I realized that I truly am a piece of work because I am God's workmanship.

When I handed my life over to Jesus, trusting Him as my Lord and King, I became a piece of work. God created something new in me, separate from what my parents created when they gave me their DNA. God has prepared "good works" for me, works He prepared in advance of my ever accepting Jesus as my Savior.

I Peter 4:10 tells us that we should use whatever gift we have received to encourage others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. In other words, whatever gifts God has bestowed upon us, we are to use to encourage others. This is how God's grace is administered here on earth. When we neglect to use our gifts to encourage others, we neglect to administer God's grace. We also neglect to do those good works that God has prepared in advance for us to do. And when we neglect to use our gifts, someone is missing out on God's grace.

God made us new creations in Christ: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come. (2 Cor. 5:17)" We are new creations, God's workmanship, a piece of work, with gifts to be used to encourage, or build up, one another. So the next time someone calls you a piece of work, take it as a compliment and get busy doing the work that has been prepared for you to do.

Can You Pass the Test?

2009-05-11T22:35:00.001-05:00

James 1:2-3
Consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

I remember having to take a written exam to obtain a new driver's license in Missouri. My husband asked me whether I had studied. I found that to be amusing seeing that I had been driving for years and this would be my second time obtaining a license in Missouri. I believe my reply was something like, "Who studies for a driver's license? You either know the rules or you don't." Well, wouldn't you know it, I failed the exam the next day.

The lady behind the counter said, "You scored a 60. Would you like an exam book to study and take the test again?"

Sheepishly, I replied, "Yes, thank you."

You see, little did I know that the new exams asked questions about DUI's, a category in which I didn't know the rules. So I proceeded to study that section. I retook the test. Handed it in, and then was told that I had scored a 60 again. You see, the second test had questions about car seat safety, another category in which I didn't know the rules. Finally, after the third try, I passed, with much luck, and an 80.

Trials in life remind me of that Missouri driver's license exam. The test is not as easy as one might think, so a little studying is necessary. Also, no two tests are the same, so you need to study the entire book and not just a particular category. 2 Timothy 2:15 tells us to study to show ourselves approved unto God…rightly dividing the word of truth. Lately, I know that God has been testing me in some areas where I really need a lot of work. Unfortunately, like with that driver's exam, I have been failing the test. And with each failure, I can almost hear the Holy Spirit say, "Would you like to study the Book and try again?" And, with my heart wrenching, I have to start all over again, knowing that I will have to take that same test, only with a different, unknown, challenge each time.

James 1:3 says that the testing of our faith develops perseverance. The state of Missouri would not issue me a driver's license until I passed that test. God works the same way. We will not receive what He has in store for us until we pass His test.

Friend or Foe?

2009-05-04T21:48:00.000-05:00

Psalm 25:14
The Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them.

Confide - to trust (in someone), especially by sharing secrets; to tell about as a secret.
Confidant - a close, trusted friend.

I feel extremely privileged when someone trusts me enough to share a secret, not a piece of gossip about someone else, but something about herself that she doesn't want anyone else to know except me. That's when I know that I am considered a trusted friend, a confidant. David tells us in Psalm 25:14 that the Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them. In other words, God lets those who fear him know about his plans, his promises, or his covenant. In Daniel chapter 9, while Daniel was praying for the people of Judah and Israel, the angel Gabriel came to him with the following greeting in verses 22 and 23: "Daniel, I have now come to give you insight and understanding. As soon as you began to pray, an answer was given, which I have come to tell you, for you are highly esteemed." The angel referred to Daniel as "highly esteemed". Daniel was a friend of God; as a result, God confided in Daniel, giving him visions that will not come to pass until the end of this present age.

The apostle Paul tells us in I Corinthians 2:9,10 that "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him, but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit." The King James Version of this scripture says that God has revealed his plans to those who love him. Friend or foe? Isn't it good to know that we don't have to wander about, hopelessly wondering what is on God's mind? Verses 10 - 12 and 16 say, "The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us…. For who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ."

WE HAVE THE MIND OF CHRIST - through the Holy Spirit. We have God's diary - the Bible. Second Peter 1:3 says, "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us ..." We can know God's will. We can be holy. We can live godly lives. We can be just like Jesus in our thoughts and actions. It is our choice. "…choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…" (Joshua 24:15) Friend or foe?

Don't Play the Fool

2009-04-28T06:22:00.001-05:00

Ephesians 5:15-17
Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

When God called Gideon to lead the Israelites into battle against the Midianites, Gideon asked for three signs - the first to make sure it really was God who was speaking to him, the second to make sure he had heard the Lord correctly, and the third to double-check that God really wanted him to lead the Israelites. Then, just for extra security, the Lord willingly gave Gideon an extra sign to ensure him that he was in His will. (Judges 6 and 7)

So many times I have failed to be like Gideon when it came to listening to God's voice. I have not carefully sought out His will before making a decision. Often, I have listened to the first voice (which is not always God's), grabbed hold of what I considered a sign, and allowed my own wisdom and emotions to run wild, without bothering to ask the Lord to confirm what I thought was His voice.

Listening to the wrong voice started with Eve. Eve was not very careful. She lived "as unwise" as she did not clearly understand what the Lord's will was in His forbidding them from eating of the tree in the middle of the garden. Perhaps if she had even consulted her husband before taking a bite, things would have been different. But she didn't even bother consulting her soul mate. She simply listened to the first voice she heard and proceeded. But, how can we blame Eve? She was the first of God's creation to be fooled by Satan. She had no Bible, preacher, or spiritual leader to warn her that a deceiver would be in her midst, trying to persuade her to go against God's will. Unlike Eve, we do have our Bible, preachers, and spiritual leaders to warn us of Satan's tactics.

Paul warns us to be careful not to live unwisely. Peter tells us in I Peter 5:8 to be self-controlled and alert because our adversary, the devil, is walking about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. How do we be self-controlled and alert? I Thessalonians 5:21 tells us to test everything. Ask God to reveal His will, not ours. Ask for a clear sign like Gideon did. God is not the author of confusion (I Corinthians 14:33), but Satan is. God will not send us instructions that are confusing, and He will not strike us down for asking for a sign. Think back to Eve. Could she not have simply asked God about the tree again? Instead she thought, "Hey, this serpent says I can eat this fruit and won't die. He says that God just doesn’t want me to be like him." And, the rest is history.

We need to be careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

Too Much of a Good Thing

2009-04-20T22:08:00.001-05:00

John 2:3,4
When the wine was gone, Jesus' mother said to him, "They have no more wine."
"Dear woman, why do you involve me?" Jesus replied, "My time has not yet come."

Picture this. Dirty laundry is piled up to the ceiling with last week's clean laundry still smashed down in the basket. Dinner needs to be cooked, but there's nothing to prepare. You either run to the store and get something to cook, or go pick up some fast food and kill both your diet and your budget, two things you've been trying to get under control for over a year. "Can you help me with my spelling words?" one child asks. "Don't forget I have choir practice in a minute," another child says. On top of all this, you've promised the Sunday school superintendent that you would call a list of ten teachers and remind them of a meeting; you've promised your neighbor that you would drop off her kids at soccer practice on your way to your kid's choir practice; and you've promised to bring homemade four-layered Mexican dip to the office party the next day. Too many tasks; too little time.

Why do we allow this to happen to us? Recently, I found myself overburdened, not physically, but emotionally, with tasks that I felt I had to do because they were the "Christian" thing to do. There I was trying to take care of my family, take care of myself, and take care of those around me, yet, I was neglecting to take care of the calling that God has placed on my life. The apostle Paul, in his letter to the Colossians, said he was praying that they would be fruitful in every good work. The key word here is "fruitful", not "every". Sometimes we get confused and think that we are to say yes to every good work. But it is God's desire that we be fruitful in the works that He has called us to do.

Take Jesus, for example, in John chapter 2, at the wedding in Cana. The wedding organizer had not planned a sufficient amount of wine for the guests. Mary, knowing who her son was and what he was capable of doing, even though he had not yet performed a miracle, asked him to help out the wedding party. Jesus essentially replied, "That's really not what I came here to do." Yet, he took care of the problem anyway and changed water into wine. But, do we ever read about Jesus going to any more weddings or feasts, changing water into wine? No. He didn't keep doing it because that was not why the Father had sent him.

It is good to help others when we can, but we should not make it our life's work to stretch ourselves thin by answering yes to everyone's needs. Rick Warren (The Purpose Driven Life) talks about being "shaped" to serve God. When God gives us an assignment, according to Rick Warren, he always equips us with what we need to accomplish it. Rick Warren has labeled this combination of capabilities as our SHAPE: Spiritual gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality, and Experience. Just recently, I had to let some things go because my heart wasn't in it, and it conflicted with my personality. I was an emotional wreck to the point that I questioned who I was in Christ. I questioned whether I was walking in the Spirit. But after much prayer, God showed me that I was simply out of his will by doing what I thought I had to do because I am a Christian.

SHAPE: Spiritual gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality, and Experience. If all five capabilities don't fit into what you're doing, pray about it and see if it is what God wants you to be doing. Just because it's a good work, doesn't mean it's YOUR work. When we try to do too much, we become ineffective in our walk with the Lord and we become ineffective witnesses to our children.

A Lesson From the Ant

2009-04-13T18:37:00.002-05:00

Proverbs 6:6-8
"Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest."

Proverbs 6:6-8 admonishes us to learn from the ant, which, although it has no commander, it is wise enough, and disciplined enough, to store up its provisions in summer in order to have food in the winter. A little while ago, I learned some other important lessons from the ant:

Resist the devil, and he will flee from me. (James 4:7, paraphrased)

Forget what is behind and strain toward what is ahead, press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13, paraphrased)

Our yard has a lot of ant hills. No matter how many times we get rid of them, they seem to be right back the next day. One day my husband decided to see how long it would take the ants to regroup after he destroyed their ant hill.

The first thing he found was that ants are fighters. They don't go down easily. Naturally, Jeff was viciously attacked. The ants decided they were not going to lose their lifework without a fight. As tiny as they are, they were able to resist their enemy who, compared to them, was a giant. Jeff didn't stand a chance as ants began to crawl up his arm and bite him. He fled.

So, what happened to the ants? They regrouped, and, in no time, the ant-hill operation was back in full swing. They knew how important it was to get the hill back together and begin collecting food again. They pressed on toward the goal.

I Peter 5:8 tells us to be alert because our enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Then verse 9 plainly says, "Resist him, standing firm in the faith." Fight back! Don't just allow the enemy to destroy your family. You've worked too hard to build it. Fight back like Jesus did when He was tempted in the wilderness. "It is written," is what He told the devil.

After you have resisted, regroup. Start building again. Don't allow the devil's setbacks to hold you back. Get back into God's word; get your prayer life in order. I Peter 5:10 says that the God of all grace will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast after you have suffered a little while. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Then press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called you heavenward in Christ Jesus!

The Hezekiah Syndrome

2009-04-06T20:05:00.000-05:00

2 Kings 20:19
"The word of the Lord you have spoken is good," Hezekiah replied. For he thought, "Will there not be peace and security in my lifetime?"

Hezekiah was considered one of the good kings of Judah because he turned the people's hearts back to God. But, like all of us, Hezekiah made mistakes. Pride was one of his character flaws; and in 2 Kings 20:19, selfishness seemed to be another.

In 2 Kings 20:12-18, messengers from Babylon came to visit Hezekiah and brought him gifts because he had been ill. Hezekiah received the messengers, then showed them everything that was in the palace. When the prophet Isaiah asked him what he had shown them, Hezekiah proudly told him that the visitors had seen every nook and cranny of the palace. Nothing had been left out. Then Isaiah gave Hezekiah the following prophecy: "The time will come when everything in your palace…will be carried off to Babylon…and some of your descendants will be taken away…."

Hezekiah replied, " The word of the Lord you have spoken is good." Verse 19 tells us that Hezekiah thought to himself, "Will there not be peace and security in my lifetime?" or "At least I'll get to live in peace." Strangely, it didn't seem to bother Hezekiah that his descendants would one day go into Babylonian captivity. He wasn't too concerned about the future generation, only his present generation.

Let's fast forward seven generations to Hezekiah's great-great-great-great-great grandson, Zedekiah. 2 Kings 25:1, "Now Zedekiah rebelled against the king of Babylon. So in the ninth year of Zedekiah's reign…Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon marched against Jerusalem with his whole army. Verses 2 through 6 give the gory details of the invasion. Then verse 7 says, "They killed the sons of Zedekiah before his eyes. Then they put out his eyes, bound him with bronze shackles and took him to Babylon."

Maybe if Hezekiah could have actually seen what would happen to his descendants, he would have had more sympathy and would have done things differently. Perhaps he would have asked Isaiah, "What can we do to save the future generation from such destruction?"

Are we guilty of the Hezekiah syndrome? Do we dismiss the warning signs that our future generations could fall into Satanic captivity? Do we think, "At least there will be peace and security in my lifetime?" We don't have to be like Hezekiah. We can and should ask God, "What can we do to save our future generation?" Then we need to act upon it. We need to consider our children's future and ensure that they too will have peace and security in their lifetime.

Stop Wishing... Start Willing!

2009-03-30T18:15:00.009-05:00

I John 3:21, 22
Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him.

"Make a wish and blow out the candles!" the crowd yelled at Elaine's 40th birthday party. Obediently, Elaine closed her eyes, thought for a moment, then blew away until all the candles were smoking instead of burning.

"What'd you wish for, girl?" Elaine's best friend Sheila asked.

"If I tell, it won't come true," Elaine replied with a grin and a wink.

"Ah, come on, you can tell us," another party member chimed in.

"No way," Elaine responded, shaking her head. "I can't take the risk."

"To Elaine!" Sheila yelled as she held up a glass for a toast. "May your 40th year bring peace and prosperity, and may all your wishes come true."

"To Elaine!" the crowd of twenty-three friends and family cheered.

Elaine smiled back at the crowd as she secretly repeated her wish silently to herself, "I wish that I could get a decent job and provide better for my family." She held the thought in her mind, then sighed, hoping her friends and family wouldn't notice her tension.

For five years, Elaine had been a single parent to her three children after her husband had walked out on them, leaving them with a pile of debt that he had acquired in Elaine's name. In three years, the house had been foreclosed, the car repossessed, and Elaine had filed bankruptcy, as she struggled to keep food on the table and clothes on their backs with the meager wages she made working for a temporary agency.

Unfortunately, Elaine is not alone. Many people are struggling with situations that seem impossible to overcome, and they are "wishing" that things would get better. Some are wishing for a better job, like Elaine. Some are wishing they will overcome an addiction like drugs or alcohol. Some are wishing their teenager will stay out of trouble. Some are wishing they could stop smoking. While some are wishing they could lose weight or develop better eating habits. It's simply in our human nature to wish things would happen. We're trained from childhood to make a wish as we blow out candles on a birthday cake, or make a wish when we see a shooting star. But, in the gospel according to Matthew, we read about a man who went beyond wishing his situation would changed - he willed it to change!

1 When he came down from the mountain, great crowds followed him; 2 and behold, a leper came to him and knelt before him, saying, "Lord, if you will, you can make me clean." 3 And he stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, "I will; be clean." And immediately his leprosy was cleansed. (Matthew 8:1-3, RSV)

Here we have a man, stricken with leprosy, who doesn't make a wish over a birthday cake nor wait for the next shooting star, he seeks out the person of whom he has heard is able to make all wishes come true. Through his faith, he speaks out, "Lord, if you will" or "Lord, if you are willing." Jesus responds with, "I will" or "I am willing."

What are you struggling with today? Financial trouble? Drugs? Alcohol? Sexual immorality? Dishonesty? Gossiping? Smoking? Obesity? Laziness? Sickness? Disease? Wayward children? Wayward spouse?

Isn't it time we stopped wishing that WE could overcome our situations? Isn't it time we did like the leper in Matthew chapter eight and seek out the Savior, and speak the words,

"Lord, if you will, you can _______________________________________________." (Fill in the blank with whatever you need to overcome.) And if the Savior is willing, He will answer, "I will; be
_______________________________________________." (Fill in the blank with whatever you need to overcome.)

Matthew 7:7, 8 tells us:
7 Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8 For every one who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

I John 3:21, 22 tells us:
21 Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God 22 and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him.

A Bullet-proof Vest

2009-03-23T22:19:00.001-05:00

Philippians 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I remember a time when I looked at an overdue bill lying on my kitchen counter and my heart began to flutter. Then I surprised myself by thinking, "Boy, I'm anxious about this bill!" Immediately Philippians 4:6 came to mind, "Do not be anxious about anything…present your requests to God." So I prayed, "Lord, help me pay this bill." Then verse 7 came to mind, "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." And for the very first time, after I said the whole verse to myself, I noticed that the scripture said nothing about God granting me my requests. The scripture said that His peace would guard my heart and mind.

I suddenly found myself laughing, not because I thought the scripture was funny, but I laughed because of the joy in realizing that God promised His peace, and nothing more, in exchange for my anxiety. And His peace doesn't necessarily mean that I will get what I requested; His peace means that I will no longer be anxious, concerned, or worried about that overdue bill.

But God didn't just promise any peace, He promised a peace that transcends all understanding. To top it off, the peace will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. To me that says that when I give God thanks for what He has already done and hand over anything that worries me to Him, He won't allow that thing to worry me again because His peace is guarding my heart like a bullet-proof vest.

When we choose to wear God's bullet-proof vest of peace and not let the cares of this life hold us down, it will make a tremendous difference in our relationship with our families.

When Lambs Cry - A Personal Testimony

2009-03-09T09:32:00.002-05:00

By Jennifer Stewart-Outten

Psalm 23:1
The Lord is MY shepherd, I shall not want.

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." (Psalm 23:1) This is the very first scripture I introduced to my son at a very early age. I needed him to understand, even in his immaturity, that because the Lord is our Shepherd, our needs would be met. The most difficult challenges in raising my son as a single mother regarded the absence of his father. Even at the ages of 3 and 4, his young mind wondered who would take care of us and why his father wasn’t with him every day. I knew I had my work cut out for me, but my constant saving grace was that the Lord is my Shepherd. My goal was to teach my son to accept and embrace our family difference. While other children had fathers, it was only the two of us, but in spite of this difference, God would provide. I attempted to ease his curiosity several times, I tried to dry his tears and to fill his vacant heart; until one day I realized that I could not succeed at any of these issues in my own strength. I prayed and asked God to help me help him. God answered.

Since my son was already reading at age 4, I had him to read the 23rd Psalm before going to bed every night. It was my hope that as he matured that someday he would recognize the meaning of God’s presence in our needs, in our valleys, at our table and in our house. My hopes were blessed and since he has become more familiar with this scripture – my lamb has shed fewer tears. In no wise am I attempting to lessen the importance of his biological father in his life. What I am attempting to illustrate is that through God’s Word I was able to teach my young son the realization that God was with us then and God is with us now. Our lives are blessed, our house is a home, our table is overflowing and our hearts are filled with love; all because the Lord is our Shepherd.

My son is no longer a toddler, but rather an intelligent and curious young man who is still quite different from most children his age. I can attest to his academic and physical development, as well as his ability to embrace his differences because he knows that God is with him. Today, as a fourth grader, he is preparing to secure a career as a future scientist in order to help preserve God’s earth and universe. Being a single mother is sometimes difficult, but my rewards are far greater than my tears. I am certain that I can write this statement, because the Lord was, is and will forever be my Shepherd. ~ Jennifer Stewart-Outten

Are We DEAD Yet?

2009-03-02T08:34:00.000-06:00

Romans 6:6
For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin.

Romans 6:6 tells us that our old self was crucified with Him (Jesus Christ) so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin. Then Romans 8:1 tells us that when we are in Christ that we do not walk after the flesh but after the Spirit. Our crucifixion continues in Romans 8:13 - "and if we live after the flesh, we shall die, but if we through the Spirit kill the deeds of the body, we shall live."

I know how hard it is to change gears and start living a new life for Christ. But when we "join church", we don't just join a social club that meets on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights, we join the body of Christ. "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things have become new." (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Romans 8:8 tells us that those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. In Revelation 3:16, the church at Laodicea was warned to be either hot or cold for God. And because they were lukewarm, God was about to spit them out, just like we would a beverage that we were expecting to be either hot or cold. Many of us have been in the church for years, but are still not DEAD yet. We are still straddling the fence, with one foot in the church and the other in the world, and not even aware that God is about to spit us out.

Romans 12:2 tells us not to conform to this world, or do the things of this world, but to think and to act differently from the world, to be transformed. When we come to Jesus, He accepts us just as we are, but He doesn't want us to stay that way. He wants us to crucify the old man and start living a new life.

Galatians 6:19-24 tells us that the acts of the sinful nature (the old self) are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, idolatry and witchcraft, hatred, jealously, fits of rage, selfishness, envy, drunkenness, orgies and the like. Then Paul says, "I warn you that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God."

When we belong to Christ Jesus, we crucify the sinful nature with its passions and desires, (yes, that includes hatred, jealously, fits of rage, selfishness, and envy, not just sexual immorality and drunkenness). We need to check ourselves. We need to ask ourselves, "Are we DEAD yet?"

More Precious Than God

2009-02-23T11:35:00.001-06:00

Proverbs 3:13-15
Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.

It is often cliche to refer to something as "more precious than gold". But, if we look throughout history and even present-day, we can point out many people who have acquired riches (or gold) but lacked the wisdom to maintain it. Their riches may have been acquired due to talent, luck, hard work, or inheritance. Wisdom, on the other hand, is acquired through only one source. James 1:5 tells us that if we lack wisdom, we should ask it of God and He will generously give it to us.

When Solomon became king, he could have asked for anything he desired. Yet, rather than ask for riches, Solomon asked for wisdom. And we know that he received both as a result. Like Solomon, our heart's desire should not be for gold or silver, fine homes, cars, and clothes, but for godly wisdom.

With wisdom, we will soon come to realize what Solomon realized - that seeking after earthly treasure is like chasing after the wind - it is vanity of vanities. We will realize what Paul spoke - godliness with contentment is great gain. Yes, God might reward us with these earthly treasures just the same, but we will not have our focus, nor our hope, in them. Our minds will be set on heavenly things.

And, if God does not see fit to grant us earthly treasure, we will still be joyful and live for Him. We will not complain or grumble about what we wish we had. We will not spend all our waking hours (and some hours when we should be sleeping) trying to gain more "stuff". We will learn that whatever state we are in, whether rich or poor, to be content. (Philippians 4:11,12) We will also gladly accept Proverbs 30:8, 9 which says, "give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the Lord?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God."

Wisdom will teach us that only God can see the big picture, and He knows exactly what we need, when we need it. Wisdom will help us put our whole trust in God to direct our paths. Now that is more precious than gold!

Count It All Joy!

2009-02-16T11:38:00.002-06:00

James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds…

Pure joy? Are you kidding? What's so joyful about facing a trial? Honestly, this is not my idea of joy. My idea of joy would be to have everything working perfectly all the time; to have no sorrow; to have no pain; to have no one getting on my nerve - now that would be pure joy. But James said to consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds. Why? Verse 3 tells us, "because we know that the testing of our faith develops perseverance", or "stick-to-it-ness".

Have you ever prayed for patience then the whole world seemed to slow down? The lines got longer at the checkout; the person in front of you drove as if he had no where to go; your kid took ten minutes to brush his teeth when you were already fifteen minutes behind schedule. We can't develop patience unless our patience is tested. Would children learn anything in school if tests were never given? A few might, simply because they enjoy learning, but the majority wouldn't. I remember a famous question I used to hear from students during college lectures, "Will this be on the test?". In other words, if it ain't on the test, then I ain't studying it. For most of us, if we're not tested, we won't learn.

And just what does perseverance do for us? Verse 4 tells us, "When perseverance has finished its work, we will be mature and complete, lacking nothing." Imagine the day when you can smile while stuck in traffic, even when you're already late for work. Imagine the day when your spouse does or says something that normally would anger you, but you don't get angry - you can't get angry. That's called maturity. That is what facing various trials will help us do. We simply cannot mature without trials. When we begin to look at our trials this way, then we will be able to consider them pure joy.

Winning At All Costs

2009-02-09T06:33:00.004-06:00

John 13:34
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you…

I played basketball for several years during my junior high and high school years. I should rephrase that and say that I was on the basketball team. I never really played unless I count that one game when we were about twenty points ahead, and the coach put me in during the last two minutes to make sure I didn't blow the lead. So, I guess I never knew what it took to win a game because I never actually played one.

On the other hand, I have had the pleasure of watching my daughter play in many basketball games. I have observed that winning at basketball requires skill, determination, and a little aggression on the court. However, I have noticed that this aggression has sometimes turned into mild violence. I have seen a lot of slapping, pushing, and arm twisting, rather than the use of skill on the court, all for the sake of winning. Some of these players want to win at all costs, even if it means somebody might have to be carried off the court.

Sound familiar? Think back to that last fight with a family member, whether it was a spouse, a child, a sibling, or a parent. Were you determined to win? Were you willing to win at all costs? Did you say some things that you later regretted? Have you noticed that when we fight, we tend to say things that we wouldn't say in a normal conversation? We go all out and really "let the other person have it". We either say those things that are at the core of our hearts, or we say things that we don't truly feel. We say these things just to get in the last, although hurtful, words, just to shut the other person up - winning at all costs.

Later we find ourselves wishing we could erase the words. But it's too late; the other person has already heard them. The nails are already in the fence. Even though we remove them, the holes are still there. The Bible says to "be sober" and "vigilant" because our adversary the devil is walking about seeking whom he may devour. We need to be careful when we have a disagreement that we don't try to win at all costs by getting in that last hurtful word. When it's comes to family, how you play the game is more important than whether you win or lose. Below are the lyrics to a song titled "Love One Another" by H. R. Palmer. I think these lyrics do a good job of summing up the whole matter.

Angry words! O let them never from the tongue unbridled slip;
May the heart's best impulse ever check them ere they soil the lip.
Love is much too pure and holy, friendship is too sacred far,
For a moment's reckless folly thus to desolate and mar.
Angry words are lightly spoken, bittrest tho'ts are rashly stirred,
Brightest links of life are broken, by a single angry word.
"Love one another," thus said the Savior;
Children obey the Father's blest command;
"Love one another," thus said the Savior;
Children obey His blest command.

STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK OUR BONES, BUT ANGRY WORDS CAN BREAK OUR HEARTS!

The Hezekiah Syndrome

2009-02-02T12:57:00.003-06:00

2 Kings 20:19
"The word of the Lord you have spoken is good," Hezekiah replied. For he thought, "Will there not be peace and security in my lifetime?"

Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?

2009-01-20T02:24:00.000-06:00

The wealth of the rich is their fortified city; they imagine it is an unscalable wall. ~ Proverbs 18:11

"If only I had more money…" is a common thought among many, both the Christian and non-Christian. Most of us feel that more money would make us happy and that it will bring us security. I have often wondered why we assume that money is the solution to all of life's problems.

King Solomon, through the wisdom provided to him from God, gets to the heart of the matter. We believe that wealth is a fortified city; we imagine it is an unscalable wall. If we have money, no harm will befall us, our enemy cannot attack us, we will enjoy the good life without the fear of the troubles and sufferings of those less fortunate than we.

Oh, how wrong we are! Throughout history, and even today, we see that wealth does not guarantee happiness, nor is it a fortified city that will protect us from attacks. As we read the newspaper or watch the news, we see and hear almost daily how even the rich have trouble - and lots of it!

King Solomon also wrote, "Whoever trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf." (Proverbs 11:28, NIV) It is that trust that we put in our riches that causes us to fall, not the riches themselves.

The apostle Paul admonishes us in I Timothy 6:10 that the love of money is the root of all evil, not the money itself. So where do we draw the line? Should we not possess wealth at all?

Matthew 6:33 tells us to seek first God's kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things (food, clothing, and shelter) will be added to us. I Timothy 6:6 tells us that godliness with contentment is great gain. Psalm 37:4 tells us to delight ourselves in the Lord, and He will give us the desires of our hearts.

So, the conclusion of the matter is that we must first and foremost seek God. We must get to know Him intimately, and forget about pursuing wealth and richest. We must whole-heartedly put our trust in Him, and realize that whether we are rich or poor, God is our refuge and our strength. We must learn to be like the apostle Paul in Philippians chapter four and be content whether we are rich or poor, well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Then, and only then, will we obtain the kind of wealth that God provides, the kind of wealth that Solomon speaks of in Proverbs 10:22, "The blessing of the Lord brings wealth, and He adds no trouble to it." (NIV)

Then, as we are blessed with wealth from the Lord, we must adhere to the words of the psalmist in Psalm 105:4. We must "Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always." We must remain in that intimate relationship with our Lord and always depend on Him as our fortified city, and never depend on wealth. Let us teach our children the true meaning of wealth by striving to live a lifestyle of contentment.

God's Powerful Light

2009-01-20T02:12:00.000-06:00

1 John 1:5,6 - "...God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with Him yet walk in darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth."

I remember a particular time when I wondered whether my children really believed in God, or whether they simply read their Bibles and said "prayers" because we had taught them to.

Every night I pray with each of my girls individually, but on this particular night I was more attentive to their prayers because of my curiosity. Then something wonderful happened after I prayed with my younger daughter Chloe. Upon completion of her prayer, Chloe shyly whispered that she had said "hi" to God today. I asked her to repeat herself because I did not understand what she had said. So, she told me that she had said hi to God today when she saw his powerful light while we were driving home from Alabama.

I instantly knew exactly what she was talking about because I had also observed the most awesome light shining through thick clouds after a rainstorm. While taking in this wonderful picture on the horizon while driving along the highway, I had imagined that such wonderful light could have been shining straight down from Heaven. Chloe, on the other hand, knew exactly where the light was coming from, so much so that she felt compelled to say "hi" to the source of the light - God, our Father.

My heart was overjoyed to know that my daughter had said "hi to God when He was shining His powerful light" and that she knows that God is real and is not just a figment of her parents' imaginations.

It IS About YOU!

2009-01-20T01:54:00.000-06:00

I’m sure that most of us have either been told or have heard the phrase, "It’s not about you!". Well, I have to challenge that statement and say, "It is about you!".

If you have ever flown on a passenger plane, you notice that when the flight attendants are giving instructions for emergency procedures, they tell the parents to place the oxygen masks on them first, then place the child’s mask on the child. Why is this? The flight attendant knows that if the parent takes care of the child first, then the parent might not get to place his or her own mask on due to lack of oxygen. And, more than likely, the child will not be able to do it for them.

I think we can all learn a lesson here. We need to take care of ourselves first! I don’t mean in the sense that we become selfish and neglect our children. I mean we need to take care of our spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being, or we won’t be any good for our children.

This is especially true of mothers. Have you ever noticed how frustrating it is to come straight home from work and begin the multi-tasking of cooking, cleaning, helping with homework, etc. I will dare to say that most moms don’t take a second to wind down first (unless they did their winding down before leaving work). The same might apply to a lot of dads. Consider making it a rule that Mom, Dad, and Kids (or whatever your family structure might be) will take a breather before going into the second shift of the day.

Take a moment to spend a few minutes with God, asking Him to give you the energy to get through that second shift.

Open the Bible and meditate on God’s word for a few minutes.

Close your eyes and rest for a few minutes and allow that moment of meditation with the Lord to marinate your soul.

I am sure there are many other areas in our lives where we could do better at taking care of ourselves for the sake of our children. Our children need us to be healthy spiritually and physically. If we waste away in either of these areas, we will no longer be able to take care of our children. It IS about YOU!